"You’re a doctor, right?” I get asked about this. A lot.
Even though I’ve been making a living in the wine business for some time, when I get introduced as such, people often presume that before Moone-Tsai happened, I “MUST have been a DOCTOR”. While I don’t know what it even means to “look like” a doc, some proffer that I display a certain kind of persona that translates to a “good bedside manner.” (It’s just as well that I didn’t know this in college.) On occasions like this, I remember quite well, how back in the day, my parents wished to see an “M.D.” affixed to their son’s credentials.
Growing up on the north shore of Long Island, NY, as an ABC (American-born-Chinese) during the 1960s-70s, I subscribed to this ambition that my parents conferred upon me. In fact, within the household code for many of my AAPI heritage (and other first-generation offspring), we didn’t so much create our ambitions, but instead were directed to aspire to what we were told were the right, respectable ambitions to acquire. Becoming a doctor was high on the list, way ahead of lawyers, bankers, architects, professors, and the more mundane, lesser professions – like owning a business.
“Become an M.D. (!)” my parents proclaimed, “and prestige, prosperity, respect from your parents, peers, et al. will be yours. Plus, nice Chinese girls like to marry doctors.
So at an early age, I bought into the program, following the recipe pretty much all through high school. I demonstrated some aptitude for my studies (particularly math/sciences), was president of the science club, watched Star Trek, and even kept a subscription to Scientific American. When I headed off to college, my parents felt like their work was taking hold. But it wasn’t. Away from home, like many, I granted myself permission to find out more about who I was, and what I wanted (or not) to be.
I indulged in the liberal arts, learned how to become comfortable with being uncomfortable, and allowed myself to set aside many of the expectations that my parents had assigned during my upbringing. Along the way, I found that my affinity for the sciences did not come as naturally for me as for others. I was a closeted germaphobe and being around health professionals, hospitals, etc., made me queasy. Alas, heading to doctor-hood was becoming tenuous; an exhilarating, but unsettling revelation. What next?
Back then, I certainly never envisioned becoming a Napa Valley vintner. Growing up, finding wine in our pantry was as likely as enjoying haggis at the dinner table. Talk of “scoring a great cab” could have only centered around finding transportation around NYC. Put simply, wine was not our thing and never entered our collective consciousness. To say the least; if my parents were around today; they would likely be shocked to see what I’ve been up to.
Still, while I rebelled against much of what my parents had benignly tried to impose upon us during these formative years; thankfully, much of what they tried to imbue by example and proclamation…a tireless work ethic, persistence, patience, and pluck…stayed with me. Along the way, with lessons earned on humility and resolve, accompanied by touches of kind fate, good fortune, and the unflinching support of my lovely wife – MaryAnn (of more spirited Italian descent); I have found a way to fulfill the adage that “…if you do what you love, you will never have to work a day in your life.”
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